Wimbledon Starts, Britain Floods
What is it about Wimbledon fortnight? It’s meant to be summer in the UK by now, it’s almost July and the sun is meant to be beating down from on high. People should be out sunbathing with hankies on their heads and turning as red as lobsters. But no, it’s Wimbledon tennis fortnight, that magnificent tennis tournament where every year every English woman over the age of 50 gets let down my Tim Henman, and so that means rain, and lots of it.
While the players were raring to start battling in South London, severe rain storms were spreading across the North of the country, flooding numerous places in it’s wake. Wimbledon and rain go hand in hand, like the strawberries and cream which octogenarians fill their faces with while watching ‘Tiger’ Tim Henman get humiliated on centre court for the umpteenth year in a row.
What is the appeal of this public schoolboy turned average tennis player that makes menopausal women around the UK suddenly soak their knickers? Seriously, older women (and some desperate younger ones) seem to get wetter dowstairs about Tim, than they do from sitting in the rain lashed courts. Britain loves an underdog yes, throughout our history we have been one as a country, but Tim is just a loser of epic proportions. I’m glad it rains every year as it dampens the enthusiasm of the twats on Henman Hill, at least until Cliff Richard treats the crowd to an impromptu sing along… then we all press standby on our televisions and go and do something much more entertaining.
But I digress. Why does it always rain on Wimbledon? Is it because Travis lied when they were were seventeen? No, it’s nature innit! In other words, it always rains in Britain, whether it be Glastonbury, Wimbledon, or a seaside holiday. The best thing to do is take a mac (the coat rather than your Apple) and shout “You’re crap” at Tim Henman. He’s used to it by now.
P.S. I don’t know how Tim got on yesterday, and frankly I don’t care. If he does go on to win the damned thing though, you may find this post mysteriously disappears…
Wimbledon, Tennis, Tournament, Tim Henman, Britain, Floods, UK, Tiger Tim, Henman Hill, London, Public Schoolboy, Cliff Richard, Wimbledon Fortnight
June 26th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
It’s always raining in England! Oh, btw Henman advanced to the second round
June 26th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
Did he? Shame… the big failure.
It doesn’t always rain in England, we have at least 6 dry days a year.