Pop Buzz UK

British Cop Shows by Gillian

http://gillpolack.livejournal.com
www.foodpast.com

Australia isn’t quite as addicted to British cop shows as Britain is to Aussie soapies. Not quite. It comes close when I visit my family in Melbourne, though. It doesn’t matter that I’ve traveled hundreds of miles to visit, if Inspector Lynley is on, I have to sit quietly and wait it out.

Not that my family likes Inspector Lynley. “He’s too perfect,” my mother says, once a week. She prefers her cops to be more… interesting. Like John Thaw.

Everyone gets measured against John Thaw. Some cops almost measure up, but not Inspector Lynley. Nor the fine folks of Midsomer Murders, though there is complete quiet in the house for it and John Nettles himself is respected. Where Midsomer Murders fails is in repeating its plots too often and because we all already know that small English towns have more murders than inhabitants because the family reads Agatha Christie and PD James.

While British writers may lie at the heart of the addiction, I personally blame Z Cars. That’s because a book of Z Cars scripts was a compulsory text when I was in high school, and it got my father watching British cop shows. This is where John Thaw came in. Taggart (the original) has matched Inspector Morse, but no-one else. Not ever.

I’m pretty positive Mum checked with my stepfather about his willingness to watch The Bill before they tied the knot. This was the old Bill, before it became a soapie. My family still watch it, but cups of tea have been known to be made at moments which require a protest. I was even picked up at the airport when it was on. Only once, but still.

In fact, the only thing more important than British cops shows is Dr Who. That’s my personal addiction. You can have Charlene; I will take the Doctor. It’s only right: my initials are G.P. And as for John Thaw? My late father is probably talking to him about old episodes of Inspector Morse and The Sweeney right now.

I am about to go on retreat and write a novel containing a hard-boiled cop, a young kid who is discovering the business, an English country town (preferably not too far from Oxford), three murders, the London streets, a bit of a Scottish accent, some gratuitous local colour and much gore. I know my fiction is quite, quite different: I have never penned a word of detection in my life. Think how happy it would make my family if a novel of mine were turned into a British cop show. My mother especially. Tomorrow I go out to buy a pen dipped in blood and the day after I will start practising my British accents.

British, Brit, UK, Cop, Police, Australia, Inspector Lynley, John Thaw, Midsomer Murders, John Nettles, Agatha Christie, PD James, Z Cars, Taggart, Inspector Morse, The Bill, English, Oxford, London, Scotland