Pop Buzz UK

Well thank God, disguised in the form Judge Hugh Bennett, that that is all over! These divorce proceedings between Heather Mills and Paul McCartney have been going on for far too long, and got far too bitchy, but finally they are at an end.

The celebrity couple, well an ex-Beatle and a one legged ex-model at least. split up over two years ago, but it has taken this long for the pair to settle on a financial deal, and then only because a high court judge decided the outcome for them.

Mills has ended up with $48.6 million, which is broken down in to a lump sum of $33 million to add to the assets she already holds (basically, property, cars, furniture etc) which she already holds. On top of that, the couple’s 4-year-old daughter Beatrice will receive $70,000 per annum, as well as McCartney having to pay for the child’s nanny and school fees.

While McCartney retained his dignity (what little he had left after this charade) by remaining silent at the end of the court proceedings, Mills called an impromptu press conference to express her delight at the outcome.

She told reporters:

“I’m so, so happy with this. I’m so glad it’s over.”

“It was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter’s future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with — because you know it has been my life for 20 years.”

“All of you that have researched know that it was always going to be a figure between 20 and 30 million (pounds), Paul was offering a lot less than that, which you’ll see in the judgement, and very much last minute to put me and Beatrice sadly through this … incredibly sad.”

Oh blimey, stop already woman. Yes, you should be happy, because regardless of how much McCartney is worth, you’ve basically just fiddled him out of almost $50 million, and for what?

McCartney won’t miss this money, and if he does, then quite frankly, he’s sadder than I already suspected he was. But why does Mills deserve such a huge amount of money and assets for basically doing nothing for four years? In what way did she help McCartney earn that money?

She met him after he’d earned the vast majority of it, from his time in The Beatles, which through royalties, still earns him an absolute fortune every year.

I’m just glad it’s all over as I’ve wasted too much time and energy following this story from beginning to end here on Pop Buzz UK. Now I hope everyone just goes home, and shuts up. If I hear Heather mills talk about how much charity work she does one more time, I think I’ll cut my head off.